Day 83: Perfectionism

This project has given me an interesting lens through which to view whatever streaks of perfectionism I may have.  I say it that way because I don't tend to think of myself as a perfectionist, and, looking at how I manage these posts, I'm beginning to understand why.

So, first off, I was going to write and say that I've had to learn to, to at least some degree, shoot from the hip.  I write something and let it go, on a pretty quick turnaround.  I definitely reread and edit, but I don't spend hours on these posts (as if you couldn't tell).  So, in that sense, I've had to let go of any desire I might have to polish and re-polish. 

I have also posted a whole lot of really trivial stuff.  This is in keeping with my stated goal, and it has definitely loosened me up a lot.  Thinking about Disco's coat?  Write about it.  Noticing that I tend to trick myself into swimming laps in sets?  Write about it.  Feel stupid for posting something that seems stupid?  Post it anyway.

So, you could say that, in those ways, doing this has helped me to relax my grip on things a little bit, or maybe even a lot.  (Because dudes, there have been a lot of trivial posts over the past nearly three months.)

But, I realized as I went to write this post, to a very significant degree, those are places where I already had a fairly gentle grip on perfectionist tendencies.  Which is why I felt able to say that bit, up in the first paragraph, about not being much of a perfectionist.

Except.

Except then I thought about all of the posts I haven't written.  The posts that I think about for hours, sometimes, about the topics that are really capturing my heart and mind right now.  The posts that I really want to get perfect - to get right - before I put them out there.  The posts that I am so worried about getting perfect that I never even start to write them.

Oops.  And dammit.  And also, interesting.